Art students, what can I say? The lost ones, the regretted ones, the fake ones, and the obsessed ones. In this series, I intended to convey the conflict of being in the studio, struggling to manifest oneself on the paper, and yet, hungering for approval from teachers, hoping the next attempt would be both true to oneself and also prestigious.

I try to present moments that are relatable to me. I did my best work when I’m alone or lots of people are watching. I never mingle in the crowd very well. When people are watching, it’s difficult to maintain myself. But when no one’s watching, I would start doubting myself if my admiration for the drawings is just my hubris talking.

I used photographs as references and did the drawings on an iPad. It all started with me wanting something to hang in my bedroom, then quickly mutated into multiple drawings because I enjoy spontaneous abstraction. It’s tricky to judge a sketch for its completion, especially when it’s blending in with deliberate abstractions. I tried not to overwork my drawings. To me, a drawing without flaw is a life without vitality. When the drawings presented themselves as both broken and whole, I knew my work was done.